Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Grey Matter - Comic 2

Hi again!... okay have uploaded my redone cartoon 1 and cartoon 2!... the first cartoon still needs its text put in place... the second one which is first in the stack above uses a rewritten poem by William Henry Davies...

William Henry Davies Version
What is this life if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare?
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep, or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Arjun Version ;P
What is this life if not full of care
And all we do is stand and stare?
Stare meaningless, at the boughs
Like we were just sheep, or cows.
Cemented walls clad with glass,
Synthetic turf instead of grass.
No birds there are taking flight,
And day is just as still as night.
We stare all day at stony feet
Too scared to walk the lonely street
A poor life this, if this is all that's there
Do we really want to stand and stare?

I hoped to try and introduce the second character in a little more suttle manner than some of the directs... Comment and let me know what you think



a.v.koshy said...

not bad
matter is lifeless and gray to boot
do you mean gray or grey?

elf_asura said...

This is interesting but I think now you will need to really work in the tone of what you mean by "grey". What is the connotation? Intelligent? Boring? Deadweight like granite? And then is grey the characteristic of the character(s) you are portraying or the comic itself? Push it.